If you make the last step to your office slightly taller, people will fall as they come in and you’ll have the immediate upper hand in meetings. (source)
So far, 2019 seems odd.
Like every other year.
I have a PhD in math, so I understand this joke. Let me know if anyone needs me to explain it.
Hey instead of a Harry Potter world there should be a lord of the rings world where it’s super immersive and you’re given a sword when you enter the world and giant spiders chase you and the elf actors eat dirt and offer you some
can we befriend and/or flirt with the giant spiders asking for a friend
It’s you’re adventure you can do whatever you want but watch out!
HI, THIS EXISTS, IT’S CALLED EVERMORE PARK, IT’S IN PLEASANT GROVE, UTAH
it’s more of a DND park but it’s fantasy and characters give you quests and when you finish quests they give you a tarot card with the characters on it
The town functions as a real-time story with a plot and everybody has backstory and movie-quality makeup and shit
Guys I’ve been and it’s fucking unbelievable
My favorite thing about the new year is that everyone has entered 2019 ready to start swinging at the first thing that moves. We’re all out here, not taking any shit, ready to fight, beautiful
This made me so fucking angry I have to inflict it on all of you.
what’s the punchline here
wait
when you’re a kid and you’re feeling weird and detached and you fall asleep in the late afternoon with school clothes still on and you wake up and its dark and dinner is almost done and time feels like a thick jelly
thick jelly……I can’t believe someone put words to that feeling…….thank you
people who live in snowy places are SO bitchy about it like miss nature makes herself gorgeous for you and you’re like wah its cold? wah its dark? wah its so inconvenient? fuck OFF you live inside a beautiful liddle scene from a fairy tale. look me in the eye and tell me you’d rather just have mud you pussy
somebody from southern california that doesn’t experience seasons wrote this
THIS PERSON HAS NEVER HEARD OF SLUSH
THAT “beautiful liddle scene from a fairy tale” IMMEDIATELY TURNS TO GREY SLUDGE FROM HELL THE MOMENT IT HITS THE FUCKING GROUND.
AND YES WE HAVE HEARD OF MUD, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SNOW MUD?!?!?!
ohohohoh
but don’t forget guys!
underneath all that slush? lies ice and you WILL slip on it.
People who haven’t been to the ER for ice-related injuries do not interact
congratulations on your week off from work due to slipping-related injury when you get to worry about your finances and contemplate seasonal depression brought about getting only 6 hours of light a day, none of which you get to see in your daily life because YOU’RE AT WORK :)))
mother nature can take her pretty white dress and fuck herself with it tbh, give me light, give me warmth, and give me steady footing on clean, dry sidewalk.
The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.
infinity war rewrite. opening scene. instead of monologuing about nonsense for five minutes (boring) and killing heimdall (unnecessary) thanos just grabs loki by the ankles and shakes him upside down until the tesseract falls out his pocket, but then thanos keeps shaking him and more and more entirely identical tesseracts just keep falling out of loki’s pockets and making a pile on the ground and this goes on until the point where it becomes comical
Loki survives by being disguised as one of the tesseract and Thanos has just been shaking his duplicate
philosahpher
